What Is Self Esteem?

The following information is a summary from the NATIONAL SAFE SCHOOLS FRAMEWORK an Australian Federal Government initiative. It is based on the latest research and tackles what enables a safe and supportive school environment. Self Esteem is identified as an important factor in a child’s risk of bullying or being bullied.

Research has found:

• Children with high self esteem are as likely to have been bullied as compared to those with low self esteem.

Research has also identified that those with low self esteem report;

• More extensive bullying
• Higher levels of stress as a result of being bullied;
• More negative effects of this stress.

Significantly research has indicated that:

• It is children with genuinely high self esteem that are the most likely to support and defend children who are bullied.

How do we develop healthy self esteem in children?

• Positive messages from important people. – The positive and sincere feedback children receive from people who are important in their lives helps them to gain confidence through feeling loved and feeling that they belong and are accepted.

• Life experiences. – Dealing with success, failure and frustration as well as learning to take risks all help children develop their own self esteem.

• Developing the ability to problem solve, negotiate and cooperate facilitates the development of self esteem through the establishment of positive relationships.
• Developing empathy in the child

Parents need to keep in touch with the programs and sites their children are using, instead of just tuning out every time you hear the terms facebook, twitter, myspace and so on. The best way to learn about the potentials and possible dangers of the internet is to become a savvy user, ask questions and learn to do new things all the time.  This way you will understand the exposure your children are receiving and you can stay on top of technology which is moving at such a fast speed.

Visit your child or teenager’s websites, check their blogs and even communicate with them!  It will be fun for you and you may even learn something.  Be open to articles you read about internet dangers, cyber bullying and internet scams targeting vulnerable users.  Empower your children, talk to them about the inernet sites they are using and it is best for young children – that their internet usage be monitored.

Keep the computer in a family area rather than in their bedroom where they can use the computer unsupervised for hours on end.  Balance is the key to getting the best out of technology.  Sitting there just tapping away at a computer is not healthy, but neither is sitting there watching hours of television.

At school, internet and web administrators take special precautions with internet safety software to ensure that illegitimate use is prevented.  Check out the various programs available for parents at home, to safeguard your children.  Set the guidelines for acceptable use – what do you allow?  How long can they stay on at any time?  Remain positive but vigilant and don’t over react to problems that may (and probably will arise).  This may be a good time to talk about language and monitoring what we say to others.

Remember, the internet has opened up our world in so many ways, so do not let the possible negatives get in the way.

Find out what you can do to improve internet safety for kids and teenagers.

Your Child and Reading

Reading is the cornerstone of a successful education.  It underpins all aspects of your child’s school life, self esteem and career prospects.

Reading difficulties need to be caught early on, as it is often by the age of 7 that reading challenges set in, leading to a dismal sense of failure after failure as children realise they are not performing as well as other children in the class.  Nowadays, reading is being taught and encouraged at pre school level and even to toddlers! We often talk about quality time, but nothing is as special as cuddling up with your toddler, pre schooler or school aged child whilst you read to them and with them.

Parents play a vital role in the education of their children, you do not need to be told that!  There are many reasons why some children struggle with reading in the first few years of school, and at least 5% of children will have some difficulty reading.  The best thing you can do as a loving parent is to get on top of things, observe them as they try to read, support and encourage them.

Ask questions at school, does the teacher or literacy specialist understand what the problem is?  Do they have any remedial programs or targetted support?  Maybe you need to enlist the services of specialist tutoring or educational agencies.  Again, it is important to ascertain what the problem is as there is no point paying big dollars for your child to sit through a program that does not meet his or her needs.  Check the credentials of the experts, speak to other families and you will find the right program for your child.  Most of all, be patient and positive, enjoy a print rich environment and remember that often the keys to developing good reading habits are time and confidence.

Self-Control

The ability to regulate ones emotions is an important but hard skill for some children to develop. However this is essential if children are to develop friendships and to be accepted by others. Other children tend to steer clear of peers who can’t manage their emotions — be it the child who cries over small issues or who get angry when things don’t go their way.. One way to help your child keep cool: Urge him to take a break — breathe deeply or take a drink of water — whenever emotions rise. Secondly encourage your child to express their emotions in an acceptable way. Talk about your own emotions (”I’m so frustrated: I can’t find bag!”) and label your child’s emotions (”You look disappointed”). Eventually your child will be able to express his own feelings and have an easier time reading the feelings of others, too. Basically you are becoming an emotional coach for your child. Essentially you are skilling your child up in recognising and labelling emotions and teaching strategies to manage them better.

Problem Solving Skills

There are a number of school yard behaviours that will ostracize children if the child frequently engages in such behaviours. Such difficult behaviours include frequent complaining, ‘dobbing’ or ‘telling on’ other children, lying or making a fuss over small difficulties in interactions. To manage and reduce such behaviours it is important to help your child to learn the difference between a small deal (someone jumps in front of you in line) and a big deal (an older child threatens you or physically hurts you). With big problems you seek help; with little problems, you work it out.

It is also important for your child to develop coping skills which will facilitate the development of resilience in them. Finally, you can remind your child that every problem has several solutions. For example, if your child is teased, you can ask him if he can think of ways to respond. Some possibilities: Walk away. Or teach your child to respond confidently to the other child, by saying ”Stop talking like that.”

Learning How to Give and Take in Interactions

The ability to learn how to be reciprocal is essential in any friendship. Being reciprocal is basically learning how to ‘give and take’ in an interaction and in friendships. One strategy to help children develop reciprocity is to ‘model reciprocity’.

It is important that children observe reciprocity in the interactions around them. Show them ‘sharing’ (”Anyone wants some of my lollies?”), turn taking (”You can use the bike first”) and the art of conversational give-and-take (”How’d you like Superman? What was the best part?”). Listening to your child can be hard, especially if you’re harried and have several children, but it really helps to spend even 15 minutes a night listening to them, conversing and being fully present

It also helps to “catch” kids when they’re being considerate. It is important to emphasize the internal rewards that come with thinking of others and how it makes other feel.

All these skills are essentual for child education and successful development.

All words are made up of sounds. There are 44 sounds in the English language, but only 26 letters that are used to represent these sounds. This means that we need to combine letters to represent these extra sounds. For reading, spelling and writing, children need to be fluent at recognising and writing these sounds with accuracy and automaticity.  It is vital that children know these letter sounds. Once this has been established, children need to apply this letter sound knowledge to words. Children need to be able to blend sounds together for reading, and to decode words into their constituent sounds for spelling.

Research has demonstrated that the most important base skills for the development of reading is:

• Recognition of letters
• Letter to sound correlations eg the letter ‘F’ makes the ‘ffff’ sound
• Recognition of rhyming words
• Generation of rhyming words eg. a word that rhymes with ‘cat’ is ____ or rhymes with ‘cat’ starts with ‘p’ it is  ‘pat’
• The ability to manipulate sounds in words eg. The first sound in ‘dog; is ‘d’
• The ability to recognize syllables in words, or clap out syllables in words

As children get older their auditory memory and visual memory become more important.   Visual memory is particularly important for remembering sight words and word families.

Reading Comprehension

Essential to reading comprehension is the development of sound oral language skills.  Children with well developed vocabulary skills, who use well developed sentences and can recall and explain good stories are likely to have sound comprehension of stories they have read.  Before starting to read always discuss with the student what the story may be about based upon the title and the cover of the book.  This brainstorming process helps the child to draw on their world experience and knowledge of the topic that they are about to read about.  Comprehending what one has read is often about the process of connecting what we know about a topic to what we are reading.  This is how we make sense of a topic.

What Good Readers Do?

Good readers develop a number of reading habits and strategies which facilitates reading fluency and comprehension.   For young children it is important to foster their use of such strategies to facilitate their reading development and reading comprehension.  These include the following:

• Have a purpose for reading
• Think about what they already know
• Make sure they understand what they have read
• Look at pictures when possible
• Predict what will happen next
• Form pictures in their minds
• Draw conclusions about what they read
• Try to figure out new words
• Practice

Examples of difficult behaviour may include temper tantrums, physical aggression, verbal aggression defiance, irritability, impulsivity, hyperactivity and difficulties with self-control. However all children at different stages may present with such problems or an escalation of a problem (eg. Increase in tantrums or impulsivity in the toddler years). However these problems are considered more significant based on the level of intensity, the frequency and the duration of the problem. For example one ‘major’ tantrum in one month is far less concerning than five tantrums a day which have been ongoing for a month.

Causes of Difficult Behaviour

A number of factors may contribute towards a child demonstrating difficult behaviours.

Temperament: Some children are born with a more difficult temperament. Children who are born with tendencies to be intense and negative in their moods may demonstrate more intense or challenging behaviour. Such temperamental tendencies may set the stage for difficult behaviours later on. Children who are highly reactive and struggle with changes in routine and have increased sensitivities may be more vulnerable to behaviour difficulties.

Stressful Life Events in the Environment: Problems in the environment, especially marital discord and subsequent conflict and financial difficulties may have an impact on the child’s behaviour. Especially in the case of relationship problems between parents the child can become quite anxious when there is instability in the family relationship. Another significant adjustment for children is when a new child is born into the family and feelings of sibling rivalry and jealousy may occur resulting in difficult behaviour. Also other significant life adjustments such as the transition into school may be a vulnerable time for new behaviours to emerge.

Illness: Difficult behaviours may occur when children are tired, hungry and sick. Just prior to the child becoming symptomatic the parent may observe deterioration in their behaviour.

Biological Reasons: Problems, such as attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), may impact the child’s attention and impulsivity and subsequently the child experiences problems with self control and possibly aggression. Some children who are on the Autism Spectrum or present with Autistic tendencies may also experience behaviour problems as a result of their inability to see other people’s perspective and problems in socially relating. Finally children who are developmental delayed or may have a specific problem, such as a speech or language delay may also experience frustration and this may result in problematic behaviour.

Parenting Practices: Children need positive attention and support from their parents. If there are not enough positive interactions with parents, children may act up in order to gain attention and control over others. In addition if parenting practises are excessively punitive this in itself can cause anxiety, frustration and anger outbursts.

More often than not children’s behaviour escalates and becomes particularly challenging in response to a combination of factors. Typically the child is having difficulty in managing their feelings, which they may not understand, and this result in intense and difficult behaviours. If your child is experiencing such behaviours contact your local child health nurse for support. It may also be useful for the child to be seen by a paediatrician for a developmental assessment to rule out developmental or biological causes to the behavioural problem.

What is Postnatal Depression?

Postnatal depression is estimated to affect 1 in 5 women and is found in all cultural, social and age groups. There are different types of postnatal depression. There is the ‘Baby Blues’ which usually occurs between the 3rs and 5th day and usually resolve by the 10th day. It is thought to be the response to hormone changes and the stress of giving birth and occurs in up too 70% of wormen.

• Postnatal depression has a gradual onset between the 3rd and 9th month.
• Postpartum Psychosis occurs in approximately 1 in 500 births and is uite rare. It seems to be genetically linked and typically occurs after the first baby. It presents as a manic depressive illness and requires urgent psychiatric treatment.

Postnatal depression results in a disturbance of mood, disturbance of thoughts and physiological disturbances. These disturbances and symptoms of postnatal depression will be discussed:

Disturbance of Mood

This includes the experience of a depressed mood, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, failure, shame, guilt, fear, anger and panic. Feelings of fatigue and exhaustion and the loss of sexual desire.

Disturbance of Thoughts

Poor concentration, loss of ability to plan and carry through tasks, poor memory, confused thinking, intrusive thoughts (eg thoughts of serious illness or death of self, baby or partner).

Physiological disturbance

The mother may experience sleep disorder such as difficulty falling asleep, early morning waking, always fatigued and exhausted. She may also experience stress symptoms such as panic attacks, tightness in the chest and stomach. Appetite changes, either a loss of appetite or overeating may be experienced.

Risk Factors to Postnatal Depression / Post Partum Depression

A number of factors are thought to contribute to postnatal mood disorders. Current research indicates that psychological, biochemical and environmental or social factors affect the onset of postnatal depression.

There are a number of factors that predispose a woman to postnatal depression. One of the most significant risk factors is having a previous psychiatric illness or emotional problems. Women who have previously had depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder are at greater risk of postnatal depression.

Obstetric and gynaecological problems impact a mother’s physical health and can impact her emotional well being. This can include caesarean birth, permittivity, previous miscarriage, previous termination of pregnancy, neonatal death, and previous history of infertility.

If the baby or mother has problems post birth this can also increase the possibility of postnatal depression. Problems such as the baby experiencing gastric reflux, excessive crying, breastfeeding problems, sleep deprivation, low iron levels.

In addition environmental and relationship factors can impact a mother and predispose her to postnatal depression. Lack of support from ones partner or own mother can be significant. This may be through death, separation or conflict in the relationship. Furthermore a mother’s isolation from extended family or friendship network can impact postnatal depression. This can be significant particularly for first time mothers who may shift from a busy life in fulltime work to being isolated at home. Women who would describe themselves as high achievers or perfectionists are at greater risk of postnatal depression as are women with anxious personalities. Finally if the woman experiences multiple stressors in her past or present life these may contribute to the onset of postnatal depression.

Five Important Tips For Fetal Development

In my work in family medicine, I see a lot of expectant mothers. I’m often surprised at how much misinformation is out there about proper nutrition during pregnancy, and in particular about Essential Fatty Acids during pregnancy.

Essential Fatty Acids are so-called because they move oxygen through our blood, they help in cell and brain development, and they keep organs and tissue healthy. One of the most crucial Essential Fatty Acids for fetal development is Omega 3 docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). This Omega 3 (not to be confused with Omega 3 EPA or ALA) is the primary structural component of brain tissue.

What follows are five important tips for fetal development:

1. DHA is a basic building block for your baby’s brain
The Omega-3 DHA is a critical component n the development of your baby’s brain, spinal cord, eyes, and nervous system. Adequate amounts of DHA help to prevent allergies in children who are at risk for them, and also increases birth size and weight. It also increases your baby’s coordination and motor skills.

2. Your body naturally gives all its DHA to your fetus
It’s part of the miracle of birth – your body instinctively gives your fetus all the resources it needs for optimal fetal development, even if that means that it robs you of the nutrients you need. For most mothers who are deficient in DHA, this manifests itself as postpartum depression, or in brain shrinkage (also known as ‘mommy brain’.)

3. Mothers who got more Omega 3s in their last trimester had smarter babies
A recent study of over 11,000 pregnant women in England showed that mothers who got more Omega 3s during pregnancy had babies with higher IQs and better social development, including fewer incidences of ADD. Infants who had insufficient supply had lower fine motor skills, less developed communication skills, and social behavior issues that could be measured for years after birth.

4. Baby’s development continues through breastfeeding
If you choose to breastfeed, you are the only source of nutrition for your baby. Since your baby’s development is continuing rapidly at this time, it is critical that you are getting enough DHA to supply your baby with enough for optimal growth, without depleting your reserves to critical levels. If you are deficient, discuss using an Omega 3 enhanced baby formula with your physician.

5. Prenatal vitamins generally do not contain Omega 3
It is a source of unending frustration to doctors, but prenatal vitamins rarely contain DHA. With more than 98% of women not getting enough Omega 3 in their diet to properly support themselves and their developing babies, it is very important that women are aware of this lack and are looking to make up for it through diet or supplementation.

Most women are conscious of the FDA’s recommendation that expecting mothers and children avoid certain types of fish. This is because of a risk of mercury contamination, found especially in large fish that feed on other fish.

One way to avoid mercury contamination during this critical time of development is to take an Omega 3 supplement. It is vital that you ensure you are getting a molecularly-distilled supplement that is certified by independent parties to be pure and free of toxins.

Also, ensure that you are getting the recommended dose of Omega 3 for expecting mothers.

For more information on choosing Omega 3 supplements when you are expecting, as well as other important tips for fetal development, visit my website at http://www.myomegamds.com.

Dr. Eva Weinlander is an associate professor at Stanford University, where she was recently awarded the Excellence in Clinical Teaching Award from Stanford, as well as one of the “Best Doctors in America” in 2008. Find out more about her work at http://www.myomegamds.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Eva_Weinlander

Temperament and Family Relationships

By Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Arthur_Becker-Weidman,_Ph.D.

Temperament is a largely genetically determined set of characteristics that remain unchanged from birth throughout life. Beginning as early as four months of age, a child’s temperament can be determined. These temperamental traits are largely unchanged throughout life. Understanding temperament is important since these personality traits do not change. A parent needs to understand these dimensions so that the parent can adapt to the child.

Temperament refers to enduring traits of a person’s approach to the world. These dimensions are found in all children across cultures. A child’s temperament is a core element of the child’s personality. Since it is unchangeable, understanding temperament is essential to knowing how to approach your child. What may appear to be a problem may actually be a mismatch between your temperament and that of your child.

1. ACTIVITY LEVEL: Physical motion during sleep, play, work, eating, and other daily activities.
(High or Low; Active or Inactive).

2. REGULARITY: The predicable recurrence of a child’s response to daily events. The rhythm of their body functions such as sleeping, eating, elimination. In school age children, regularity is observed as consistency, organization, or predictability. Is the child orderly with toys and possessions? Is the child’s after-school routine the same each day?
(Predictable or Unpredictable).

3. INITIAL REACTION: The child’s reaction to new people, places, things, foods, and routines. For example, tries new foods, refuses, or looks it over, pokes it, and then tries a bite.
(Bold or Inhibited; Approaching or Cautious).

4. ADAPTABILITY: Like initial reaction, but refers to the child’s long-term adjustment after the initial response. The ease or difficulty with which the child’s first reaction can be changed. How quickly does the child make transitions or adapt to changes in routine? How quickly can the child make a choice? How does the child react to last minute changes?
(Flexible or Rigid; Quick or Gradual).

5. INTENSITY: How much energy the child puts into a response. Is the child loud? How does the child respond to disappointments, praise, failure, surprise, or frustration?
(Intense or mild).

6. MOOD: What is the child’s dominant mood or overall pattern? Is the child generally positive, negative, or in between?
(Positive or Negative).

7. DISTRACTIBILITY: Is the child able to tune out surrounding sights, sounds, or people and continue without interruption or is the child distracted by outside stimuli? This is not the same as persistence. A child can be easily distracted yet return immediately to the task at hand and stick with it until it is completed. How quickly can a baby be soothed?
(Rarely or Often)

8. PERSISTENCY AND ATTENTION SPAN: Persistency is the child’s tendency to stick with an activity despite interruptions or outside distractions. Attention span is demonstrated by how long a child sticks with an activity when there are no interruptions.
(Often or Rarely; Persistent or not; Short or long).

9. SENSITIVITY: Sensory threshold or the amount of stimulation required to get a response. Watch all five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste).
(Nonreactive or Sensitive).

TEMPERAMENT CHECKLIST

Temperament is composed of nine dimensions. Temperament is easily determined at birth and does not change; it appears to be genetically determined. Temperament can be thought of as one of the basic elements of personality that is not changeable. It is not right or wrong, it just is; although temperaments different than one’s own can seem to be “wrong,” they are not. At the Center we use the Cary Temperament Scales to measure a child’s temperament and provide parents with a report detailing their child’s temperament and the potential strengths and pitfalls that the parent and child may experience. The traits on each continuum are neither good nor bad. However, mismatches between a parent’s and child’s temperament can create discord and problems. The following check list is not meant to replace a professional assessment or to substitute for a reliable and valid test such as the Cary. However, this check list can help you identify areas of match and mismatch between your temperament and that of your child.

The fact that you have temperament traits on the other side of a scale item form your child, or spouse for that matter, does not mean that a problem exists. It merely means that you and your child have different temperaments on that dimension. It does mean that as a parent you do need to be particularly sensitive to that dimension since your proclivities and those of your child are different. However, as a parent it is your responsibility to adapt to these differences and accommodate your child. Knowing that you and your child differ on a dimension of temperament, which is not a changeable dimension of personality, allows the parent to know that he or she must adapt to the child. This also can help a parent realize that when a child is “pushing” your buttons, that it is your issue and not something that your child should be expected to change. When there are significant differences in parent-child temperament, the parent will need to take extra steps to be sure that he or she adapts to the child.

Becker-Weidman, A., (2006) “Treatment for Children with Trauma-Attachment Disorders: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy,” Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal. Vol. 23 #2, April 2006, 147-171.

Becker-Weidman, A., (2006). “Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: A multi-year Follow-up,” in, New Developments In Child Abuse Research, Stanley M. Sturt, Ph.D. (Ed.) Nova Science Publishers, NY, pp. 43 — 61.

Becker-Weidman, A., (2007) “Treatment For Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy,” http://www.center4familydevelop.com

Becker-Weidman, A., & Hughes, D., (2008) “Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: An evidence-based treatment for children with complex trauma and disorders of attachment,” Child & Adolescent Social Work, 13, pp.329-337.

Craven, P. & Lee, R. (2006) Therapeutic interventions for foster children: a systematic research synthesis. Research on Social Work Practice, 16, 287-304.

Infants

Newborns see primarily in black and white and shades of grey. Newborn have a preference for faces and will then develop interest in objects. It is important that in the first 12 weeks of life an infant has an eye health. This can be performed by paediatrician to check the health of the eye and check for cataracts. By 8- 12 weeks an infant will start to follow objects visually. Between 2 to 4 months the infant will learn how to move their eyes to follow an object as opposed to moving their head to scan. This is the beginning of visual tracking and eye teaming (moving the eyes together in the same direction). By 4 – 5 months a child’s eye muscles would have developed the ability to coordinate movements and ‘cross – eyed’ appearance should reduce. Another exciting development is that children are seeing in colour by 4 months.

Four to six months

Between four and six months children have started to roll, push themselves up, and attempt to move. They are also quite skilled at grabbing objects and bringing them to their mouths for exploration. Visual acuity or sharpness has often developed by six months.

Six to Twelve months

Between 6 and 12 months of age children develop visual perceptual skills and improve in their ability to judge distances. These skills have developed as the child’s motor ability develops as they transition from crawling to walking. Eye-hand coordination also improves significantly during this time.

Vision Problems in Children

• Myopia (shortsightedness) causes difficulty seeing distant objects clearly.
• Hyperopia (longsightedness) makes it difficult for a person to focus on close objects.
• Astigmatism causes objects to appear distorted and not sharply in focus.
• Poor co-ordination of the eyes
• Turned eye
• Poor eye-hand co-ordination

Signs of a Vision problem

There are many clues to a vision problem in a child. These signs include eyes blinking frequently, one eye turning in or out, red or watery eyes and squinting eyes whilst the child is watching television. Other common signs include the following:

• Behavioural signs
• Holds a book very close while reading.
• Loses the place while reading.
• Positions head strangely when reading.
• Rubs eyes frequently.
• Sits very close to the television set.
• Writes crookedly with poor spacing.
• Leaves out or confuses words when reading.
• Tilts head noticeably when looking at things.
• Covers or closes one eye when reading.
• Complains of headaches.
• Complains of blurred vision or seeing double
• Complains of sore eyes.

Optometrist

Please contact a behavioural optometrist if your child presents with some of these symptoms over a period of time.